Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
