**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
