On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
