remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
