I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My vagina is officially offended.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
