I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
