Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize