NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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