I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
