There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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