real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
