I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
