Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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