from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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