last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
