Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
