i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
