R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
