You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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