i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
