K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
