singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
