Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
