i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
