8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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