Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
