so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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