Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
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