P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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