Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
