Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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