Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
