Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
