White coat. Heels.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
