i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
