Life is so much better after having sex.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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