you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
someone owes me an orgasm
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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