So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
