I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
