It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
