The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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