we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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