I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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