I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
