I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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