I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
