i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
