Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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