It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
