I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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