I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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