Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
