i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
