Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
