How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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