But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
