A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
