Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
