look no pants
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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