I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
